so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
