All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Randomize
