Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
