I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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