i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
