so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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