my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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