Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
