TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
