bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
