Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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