Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
