is your mom at the bar?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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