everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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