i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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