I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
