Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
