I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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