You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
