It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
