I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
