I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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