Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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