dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
