they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
