I think i sorta joined a cult last night
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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