Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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