What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
