saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
