i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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