i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
