im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
