well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
