After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
