sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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