It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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