no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
