Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
