What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
