there were more penises there than on chat roulette
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
