Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
