Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
it hurts more in the daytime
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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