its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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