if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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