I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
