his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
