You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
