i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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