What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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