these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
