he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
